Choices
by HibariKyoya913
Summary: 'Hermione tells herself that it will all be okay. She tells herself that it won't always hurt like this, and that they'll both be happier without each other.' Harry/Hermione with Harry/Ginny base pairing. No Ginny bashing. Oneshot (possibly more). HPHG, HPGW. Please R&R.


**AN: Hi everyone, this is my first fanfic for Harry Potter. I quite like this even though it's a bit confusing (sorry about that, I just prefer writing when there are always some things that the reader doesn't know). Also, I've listed this as Harry/Hermione but the base pairing **_**is **_**Harry/Ginny (with no Ginny or Hermione bashing, which is surprising since I don't really like Ginny). Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I just play. :)**

Green eyes flash and hands run through untamed dark hair. He is angry, she knows that.

"What are we even doing?" Harry says this with a slight sneer and she finds it difficult to hold back tears. She hadn't known it would come to this tonight, she had hoped it would never come to this.

"I don't know," she looks down, "I don't know anymore."

The resigned tone and the hopeless expression on her face seem to throw him off guard, because his eyes widen slightly and his jaw slackens. Moments pass in silence, the night of the park dimly lit solely by a distant streetlamp. Hermione stands still, watching Harry's face and not daring to look away for fear that it would contort in rage as it had done only minutes before.

Harry sits on the bench they had been sat on before their fight, head down and posture slouched. He looked utterly devastated - this she could tell without having to see his face. She knows the exact expression he wears; eyes dark and glinting with something neither of them liked to acknowledge, brows furrowed ever so slightly, strong jaw dropped just a tad and pink lips turned downwards into a sad frown. She sees that same expression after every single fight, after every single incident like this.

It never got any easier for Hermione to see.

She stays still and silent as he breathes loudly and deeply, no doubt controlling those final hints of anger at her (and at himself, she was sure), and she waits to see what his next move will be. She confuses herself with contrasting hopes. Some parts of her want him to do what he always does, whilst some parts of her want him to finally break this cycle.

"Hermione, love, I'm sorry," he speaks softly and almost sincerely, but she finds that she cannot just accept his apology and go back to how they were. He was supposed to love her.

She was supposed to love him.

"No, Harry," she sighs, feeling helpless and utterly alone, "we can't keep doing this. How did we end up like this? I love you, but I'm not happy. Neither are you."

The words hang heavy in the cool London air, Harry's gasp the only immediate response.

Then he heaves out a breath that Hermione knows he must have been holding. She can't look at him as he unfolds himself from the bench and stands in front of her, tears leaking from his eyes.

"Hermione?" he says the word as barely a whisper but it's deafening in the silence.

Her brown eyes glisten with tears of her own and they make cool trails down her face as she looks up at his stricken face.

"I can't do this anymore Harry," she sobs the words out this time, strength drained. Her chest heaves with effort as she tries to breathe and tears drip to the floor as she looks down again.

Harry watches her, body shaking only slightly with his silent tears. His eyes scan her form, taking in the visible bones and eyes surrounded by dark circles. He knows he has done this to her, and he understands why she's finally given up on him.

"I'm sorry," he repeats the words, but they hold more meaning than before, "I'm so, so sorry Hermione."

She knows he means it this time. She knows there is nothing more to say.

With a fleeting glance up at his regretful face, she sobs once more before disapparating. As she leaves, she hears the faintest whisper of 'I love you' in the wind before she is gone.

Harry stays long after she has left, wondering to himself what went wrong and how they had both changed so much in the years since the war.

* * *

Weeks after their fight, Hermione wakes from yet another replay of that night. She cries to herself in her lonely bed until she falls back into the darkness of sleep, wishing for freedom from the pain of heartbreak.

* * *

Weeks after his fight with the love of his life, Harry lies awake in his bed and turns to watch his sleeping wife. Ginny is clearly pregnant with their second child, their first being his wonderful son, James Sirius Potter. James is a year old now, and looking forward to the newest addition to their family almost as much as his mother. Both are overjoyed that Harry is home more often now, thinking he overworked himself in his job as an Auror before with his long hours and frequent overnight missions. Harry himself feels lost and alone. He cries a few silent tears before he turns in his bed, turns away from his perfect wife, and goes to sleep wishing it was _her _laying next to him instead of Ginny.

* * *

The weeks and months pass quickly yet impossibly slowly for Hermione and she starts to feel herself getting better. The days start to lose the dullness they held before, they stopped blending into one endless day and the nights gradually got more restful but never less lonely. Hermione ate more and gained some of the weight she had lost, her skin glowed more healthily as each day passed and she smiled more than she had done in years. She increased her visits to her long neglected friends' homes. She chats often with Ron and Luna in their home every week, she checks up with George at the shop, she even visits Ginny every now and again when harry isn't home - giving presents to James and wishing Ginny well on the child who would soon be born and named Albus Severus.

When the baby is born, she is ready. Hermione is ready for the party invite; she is ready to see him for the first time in months.

* * *

The party is beautiful. It was held in the garden of Harry and Ginny's house and the sun is shining on the guests as they mingle in the heat of summer. Hermione enjoys herself, talking to friends and meeting new people in the crowd, munching on little sandwiches and cooing delicately at the newborn baby for which the party was held in the first place.

It isn't until the sun is lowering in the sky and a chill settles in the garden that she sees him. She smiles and waves him over.

"Harry," she starts without hesitation, "he's gorgeous. Congratulations."

The words are said happily and sincerely, but Harry recoils as if she's slapped him.

"Thank you, I'm very proud," is his terse reply as he nods at her and moves to leave, but inside he is reeling. She _was_ fine, _is fine_, he could tell. She's fine without him. The thought tears him apart and he turns back to her, eyes wild and pleading.

"Run away with me," he breathes, running his fingers through his hair like he had that night, "just us. We could be so happy, far away from here. Come with me? Please."

Hermione looks into those green eyes and sees passion, love, hope. She sees everything she has ever wanted. She sees flashes of the life they could have together and she is tempted. Tempted to forget about everything and just run away with the man she knows she will always love.

She catches a swish of red hair in her peripheral vision as she steps closer to Harry.

Reaching a hand up to his face, she touches his cheek and feels him lean into her palm. She looks up into his eyes smiles softly.

"Harry, you have everything you need right here," she feels his jaw tense in her hand and she sees his eyes blur with tears, but she continues regardless, "don't give it all away for me."

The tears fall and she feels the wetness in her palm, but she waits for him to reply.

"But it's you I love, not Ginny. I love you," he chokes out a sob and turns his face further into her hand, "Don't you love me anymore?"

Hermione's heart breaks all over again at the child-like expression he wears, vulnerable and morose, but she does what is best for everyone as she takes her hand away from his face.

"I do love you, Harry, but not like that anymore. I'll always love you and I'll always be here with you if you want me to stay, but I'm your friend," she feels a tear fall down her own face as she calmly reassures him, "I should have never been anything more."

"But we were meant to be-"

"No, you and Ginny are meant to be," she interrupts firmly, not letting him tell her what she already knows, "you have two adorable children and the perfect life. I can't let you ruin all of that. She's your 'one' and she always has been, you just haven't seen it yet."

She wipes at her eyes and puts a smile on her face, real but small, before taking a shuddering breath.

Harry starts shaking his head in denial, murmuring 'no' over and over as he grabs her hand with his shaking fingers.

"No, Hermione, don't do this. Please don't do this," he speaks before she can, not letting her say goodbye, "I love you."

"I love you too, I already told you that, but it doesn't change anything," she's rushing her words out now, seeing Ginny making her way through the crowd towards them, bright smile on her angelic face, "your wife is almost here and I need you to see how lucky you are, how much she loves you. You love her, I know you do. Treat her right. Promise me that you'll love her like you should."

"Bu-"

"No, Harry. Just promise me."

Harry looks into the determined brown eyes of the woman he loves most in the world, and he relents, realising that she would never give in - realising that he had missed his chance with her years ago when he chose Ginny.

"I promise," he whispers the words, but Hermione hears and she wraps him in a hug, smiling at the approaching redhead.

"Wipe your eyes and smile, Harry, it's a lovely evening," she mumbles the words into his neck and he does as instructed. Just in time.

Ginny looks at the two and smiles fondly, utterly content with her life and oblivious to the obvious.

"Ginny, you look lovely today," Hermione smiles, addressing Ginny and giving Harry time to recover.

"You too Hermione," Ginny replies, eyes flicking briefly to the other guests, most likely checking on her children, "but I'm afraid I'll have to drag Harry off now, there's people he still needs to meet."

Hermione nods and laughs a little before she hugs Ginny, pressing a kiss to her cheek and saying she'll call around for a cup of tea sometime soon to see her when she's less busy.

She doesn't hug Harry again, but she does press a loving kiss to his cheek, murmuring a soft 'goodbye' into his skin before moving away.

He's smiling now, but it's a bitter, broken smile that Hermione immediately decides she doesn't like.

She doesn't try to put it right - it's not her place anymore, it never really was. Instead, she tucks a stray curl behind her ear and gives a small wave to the couple before she disappears into the crowd. She feels relieved and free and completely breathless.

She soon apparates away from the party to the quiet of a Muggle London park. Sitting down on a bench, Hermione tells herself that it will all be okay. She tells herself that it won't always hurt like this, and that they'll both be happier without each other.

She's sorry for how everything has turned out and she's sorry for lying to him when she told Harry that they were never meant to be. Now she ponders that and realises that maybe they were meant to be, just like she had thought, but maybe they were meant to be and then not. Maybe they were meant to love and then lose each other.

However it was meant to be, she had made choices in all of this; choices that she promises herself, on a dirty bench in a London park, she will never regret.

**AN: So? Like it? Hate it? Tell me, I'd love to know.**

**Message me if you want any questions cleared up. Oh, and I might do a short second chapter showing how the argument actually started if people want me to.**

**Also, I haven't beta'd this nor have I thoroughly checked for tiny errors so don't hate me too much for little mistakes! :)**


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